a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
