That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Jerry, you need to find god
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
