I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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