Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize