we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
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the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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