I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
