now i know why i became what i already was.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize