Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
