Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
