A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
