She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
