Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
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I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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