I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
