we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
