Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize