you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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