Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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