she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
