Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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