Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
