i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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