help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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