my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
