I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
