I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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