I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
