I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
