Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
