Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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