Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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