I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i need some magic done to my vagina
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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