end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
