just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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