the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
