a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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