dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
