i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
