If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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