singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
