i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
