My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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