I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
