Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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