I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
