You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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