You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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