: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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