Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
