No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
