i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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