So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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