okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
