How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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