She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
