so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
