The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
