The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
