this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.