Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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