I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
