Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
