Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
