Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
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and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
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Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...