Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious