That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
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I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We talked him into tasing himself.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
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Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.