Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.