the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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