Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
