first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
