That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
