i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
