Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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