he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
